Can't take it anymore

Things didnt work out the way I wanted to. Fck. What i wish for, it will never happen. Because of why? Because, I dont think that im the good girl type la kan. Haih. Stress. Thank God, by listening to Zee Avi's song make me feel much more better. Urgh. You know what I'm thinking now, I think of to loose my weight. I hate it when everybody talks about my body. I really hate it fyi. Im tired of all those craps. 

The craps which people call me fat. Gemuk sangat ke? *Qila im not refering it to you okay*  I should be thankful la kan, at least I still can naik turun the tangga. Some of them tak boleh kan. But still? It's irritating. IT IS! And I hate it when girls yang kurus cakap dia gemuk. Sedangkan tak gemuk. Tang mana? Kalau nak orang puji awak sekali pun tak payah la dok cakap diri awak tu gemuk sedangkan tak pon. Lain la, perut macam aku, peha macam aku, bontot macam aku. Dah besar. Like my mum said, Im OVERSIZE. 

Yeap, actually my body can't take it anymore. Sebab, I can see all those kulit-kulit from my body dah pecah. Yes, I have all those selulites. It's that how it spells? I dont know. Maybe la kot. Me either tak percaya that my body is like this right now. I dont know how, now, my body senang sangat nak naik. I used to eat a lot when I'm schooling. Perut takda, peha tak besar mana, pipi pun tak naik. It's NOW yang, semua apa aku makan NAIK! Like what the hell man? 

I wish to go to the gym everyday. I do once haritu. Hmm. I dont know. Urgh. I hate this. Seriously, now, I cant stare myself at the mirror lama-lama. I'll be disgusted with my own reflection. Surf me right! Haih. I dont know how to ikat perut. I always wanted to eat. I have this nafsu makan so kuat. Im not the one who has those lust of something else. Ni nafsu makan! I hate this. I hate this. I HATE it.